I simultaneously want to sleep in bed forever and do everything in the world
depression is when you don’t really care about anything
anxiety is when you care too much about everything
and having both is just like what
touch my heart then touch my body but DON’T YOU DARE fuckin touch my hotwheels collection
i’m watching Extreme Couponing and i just saw a woman rack up a charge of over $1000 and then her coupon game was so fucking raw by the end of it the store owed her $8. what the fuck
“her coupon game was so fuckin raw” is basically the best string of words ever concocted
if u have a nice butt there’s a 10,000% chance i wanna see it
*on my deathbed*
nurse: do you have any last words
me: i………..regret……being so……m…..mean………and heartless…………….
*the light goes out of my eyes*
*a small piece of paper falls out of my hand*
*the paper says one word only*
“sike”
80% exhaustion 10% sarcasm 20% dont care
that’s 110 percent
20% of me doesn’t care
steven moffat and mark gatiss at their first jobs!
Cokeflo from Progressive
God bless Adventure Time
wait what does this mean
im serious does anybody know
I follow back similar.
what the fuck is similar to cops arresting a tornado
[party in the usa playing faintly in the distance as the australian cries]
this just in, tumblr user maxterbate gets the joke
EVERYONE IS LITERALLY OUT TO GET ME
i shouldn’t be laughing so hard at this
